THOUGHT PROCESS

THE THOUGHT PROCESS OF A MIND INVOLVED IN A DAY TO DAY STRUGGLE WITH LIFE!

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Censorship and my underwear.

My to do list!

After three days of shopping before Christmas and all day cooking on Christmas day ,boxing day was spent relaxing and having some personal time!. Today I am going to decide which areas of my life need changing and if any areas could be built upon, (Formally known as New Years resolutions).

I need to upgrade my exercise routine, I generally do some at least half an hour for three days a week, but maybe I need to focus on specific areas of my body?. Also I need to cut down or stop drinking and then look at my eating plan and alter my diet, hopefully this will knock a few years off my skin and "bring healthy back!!".

My other resolution will have to be to devour as many men as possible, I have an intense addiction to the male species and literally get an tense erection just thinking about them!. This I find strange considering that in my youth I had a fairly restricted sex life!, now that I am older I have tastes that are borderline animalistic, and I have constant fantasies about group sex!

Time will tell if I check off any of these "to do tasks!"
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Saturday, 22 December 2007

It could not be any worse.

Our freezer has stopped working and with Christmas nearly on top of us and all the previous days supplies on the verge of being destroyed things couldn't possibly get any worse.... OR COULD THEY!?. I am beginning to think I am cursed by a demon for all my sins during the last year. But thinking on those lines what about Amy Winehouse and her
behaviour over the last year, surely her x-mas is doomed and her freezer MUST DIE ALSO!!??. Oh yeah ..... now I remember she is suffering!!.

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Friday, 21 December 2007

Last days of christmas shopping!

Today I had to go Christmas food shopping and it really was a nightmare navigating through all the bodies and heaving trolleys!!. At one point my own trolley accidentally collided with someones ankle and he spun around and said "its alright I have two legs!???", Good god, it was an accident and he's lucky that I was in a placid mood because if my mood was major bitch mode I would have bitten his balls off!!.

Everything afterwards went to plan and all the goods are now in the our store for the coming nuclear blast! (Christmas period) . My appointment at the dentist went relatively ok, I only need one filling and he said my gums are excellent!. Must be all that cock sucking!!.

Planning to do quite a bit of work on my macbook and hopefully I will post a youtube video and some of my new photographic work ,which fingers crossed will be just as popular as the previous work that I did!?.

Saturday, 15 December 2007

Truly hateful behaviour!

While traveling to Chester today on the bus I sat I quickly down because the bus was quite full at this point, at the next stop two young girl quickly kissed and one of them got on the bus and started to look for her money!. At this point the man behind me began saying to what I presumed to be his wife/girlfriend that “she has just fucking kissed a girl and now the stupid bitch is looking for her money,why didn’t she have it ready?”, she then walked slowly to her seat and he began saying “look at that thick fucking bitch now!”. I felt sick and could feel his extreme HATRED drifting over me!!. I could also smell his intense alcoholic breathe!!.The next unknown victims were also female and the only crime that they committed was being allowed on the bus after the bus driver had shut the doors!. “Fucking all the luck in the world” was his remark! The thing that really got to me had to be his intense hatred for these women,he seemed to hate people and everything about life!. I thought maybe that he was a country yokel who was having a hard time with the christmas period and all the shoppers!??. I thought about turning around and confronting him but after the last weeks negative incidents I had second thoughts,but if his remarks had been heard by any of these girls I would most certainly have unleashed my bitch mouth and attacked him till he crawled back under the rock that he had come from !When the bus reached the destination I got off before him and observed him leaving the bus and to my horror this man had been traveling ALONE so he MUST have been talking to HIMSELF!?. HAPPY CHRISTMAS PSYCHOPATH!

Friday, 14 December 2007

The week that was terrible!

Looking back at the past week I do not know how I could experience so much bad luck that my only conclusion is that I must have possessed an elevated amount of bad karma!. Last saturday I had to trim my christmas shopping down because a relative wanted me to collect a coat for them in Chester!..I could not understand the request really on the grounds that they own a car and it would have been much simpler for them to get the coat rather than asking me. Usually this wouldn’t have bothered me but being christmas I wanted to finish buying my gifts!, It only made my life harder and moodier!.
Then on Monday when I returned home I was informed that the over-weight coal man had nearly dispatched his load ( sounds extremely sexual) through the window, having regained his grip he then cracked a windowsill and loosened a pipe!!!..( drunk in charge of a bag of dirty fuel!!! ). He either leaves the bags of coal in the yard or goes on a diet or the other option ……I discontinue my weekly agreement for fuel!.
Ok now the ultimate in absolute bad luck and this happened the day after the coal incident,so my nerves were already shattered. Tuesday was the day that my house was nearly burgled and my sanity would be corroded beyond salvation!.. A man had tried to force his way into the house via two windows but had given up presumably because of time-span and extremely tight window frames!!.
I now feel unsafe in my own house and I sleep so lightly that a farting cat would wake me up in an instant!, the possessions in my house our my own and the thought that someone could take them away just because he wanted to makes me nauseous and paranoid!.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Ginch Gonch threatened legal action if I didn't remove youtube video!

Last Thursday I posted a video on youtube expressing my personal views about ginch gonch's underwear which I had bought several months ago. Because I had failed to read the washing instructions on the label the colours on the first pair that I washed all ran together!. It was my own fault I know but really for hygiene reasons I think that you will all agree that you need to wash underwear in warm water!.
This I explained in the video and I then preceded to recommend another companies brand, which is owned by a friend and in my personal opinion is of superior style and quality than ginch gonch!. The video was up on youtube for ONE DAY, during which Ginch Gonch sent an email to my friends web site saying that if he did not get me to remove the video off youtube that they would take legal action!!!.
I could understand if I had blatantly slandered their companies name but a simple video expressing my own views about a product that I had bought is pathetic in the extreme!
Further more and this is what I can not comprehend is the action Ginch Gonch took in going through all my blogs and emailing certain posts back to my friend!!!. EXCUSE ME!...this is taking things out of all reason and just goes to show everyone one that no one is immune to BULLYING!!!.

Monday, 19 November 2007

Unbelievable

Apparently celebrity's are posting videos on youtube campaigning against bullying in a response to the national anti bullying week. This is fine and i'm against any form of bullying regardless what the situation is but I find the fact that youtube a web site that in my opinion condones bullying in every form, is the platform these celebrities have chosen to present their campaign!!

You only have to read any gay persons comment box to find some form of homophobic abuse and these comments range from "DIE OF AIDS", "GAY BASTARD", "SHIT STABBER"!!!!! and so on...Youtube DO NOTHING!...the perpetrators are left to continue their bullying,hiding behind (like most bully's do) a barrier of some kind, be it a computer screen or a gang!! These comments really disturb me because if channelled towards the young it can have a detrimental effect upon them mentally and physically!!.

Only this week Sophie Foxley a young girl suffering from leukaemia received death threats posted on her blog which she used to help her with the illness. This is really unbelievable and upset me when the story hit the news, one post said "me and my husband are going to kill you"! WTF!..THESE ARE GROWN ADULTS!?!?!..my god! what a world we live in!!

STOP ALL BULLYING NOW!!!! and that includes you YOUTUBE!!

Sunday, 18 November 2007

A day to forget!

Its been a really strange day today..Firstly I got up with a slight hangover which didn't initially hinder my day but the events which unfolded contributed to fanning a feeble hangover into a forest fire!!!.Let me explain...I arrived in Chester this morning at 11.00 to buy a macbook which is my Christmas gift to myself, all excitedly I said to the assistant that I would like to buy the laptop only to be told that they were out of stock!!..why was it on view in the first place if it was not available to buy !!??.
So I walked over to the Apple store nearby and I was informed by the notice that they do not open on Sundays!. Bloody silly if you ask me since Christmas is approaching and all that vital trade on Sunday will be lost,so to cut a long story short I returned to the first store and aked them to order it from another branch and have it delivered to the Chester branch for me to pick it up on Saturday!
Anyway after all these incidents my self created headache was having a ball in my brain and loving every minute of it!,the weather was ball shrinkingly evil and the available daylight resembled the glow from a candle, extremely dismal and depressing by all standards!

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Sony or Apple

I have been thinking for the past couple of weeks which lap top I might like to buy before Christmas, the contenders are Sony Vaio or Apple Mac. I have always used a Windows system and the thought of changing to mac is daunting but because I use lap tops for editing photographs ,the reviews that I have read all seem to indicate that a mac is a better system for this task!.
Price wise they are more expensive and I am looking to spend about 900 pounds all together, the Sony Vaio seems a better option regarding the price and the familiarity of windows tends to push me in that direction.
I am going to read more reviews and then decide but if any of you guys out there have any advice please comment me and I will be forever grateful.Thank you!.

Monday, 12 November 2007

I am what I am.......really I am!


This happened to me today,a so called "friend" remarked that the only reason why I am gay is because I would not be able to satisfy a woman and that I would be cured of my homosexuality by the right woman!?. He also said that he could not imagine me having sex with a man!!,why he would want to is beyond me!.

His remark is totally homophobic and I know if I challenged him on this he would deny it!..the reason why I didn't confront him is purely because I feel so sorry for the mentally challenged moron!. He has been mistaken for a gay man himself because of his vanity which I must agree is homogenetic and he has a bone structure which is cocksuckerous!!, also his second marriage is on the rocks ,presumably because of his infantile behaviour and selfishness.

To not be able to imagine myself with a man is laughable in the extreme considering my past,but on this point he regards me as a puritan, not his words I can assure you,he thinks of me as a homo virgin mary!! I really feel sorry for the idiot because he has constructed a sort of virtual lifestyle for me,one that has no resemblance to the true one!



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Now playing: Feast of Fools - FOF #647 - Echoes of Halloween - 11.09.07
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Sunday Bloody Sunday

All day I have been in pain with such an intense case of sinusitis that I had to go to bed and forsake any plans to do any photographic work what so ever! Its only now at 7:00 Sunday night that I am beginning to feel a little better.I have opened an account with blip.tv so I can upload videos with them,rather than using youtube which I regard as a DIRTY SITE,I hate reading comments about gay vbloggers because invariable there are numerous gay hate remarks which I find really disturbing, I received one such comment from a young girl because I had left a remark on Prez Hiltons site and she found this to be the jolt she needed to comment me and called me a STUPID FAGGOT..U NEED TO STOP LIKEIN MAN U FUC SHOT..U LIKE PEREZ HILTON I KNO THATS UR ROLE MODEL U SISSY FREAK...UR NOT WELCOM HERE...look at the typing mistakes shes such an illiterate freak and to be propelled to write such hatred, she really needs to seek help!
Today was a right off and in the aftermath I am left feeling un- productive and drained,Sundays are usually my best day to work and focus mentally on the things that need doing!..Oh well....
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Male Abandonment


well...I have been thinking strangely enough about why I do not have the ability to desire relationships that are longer than the time that it takes to pull up my pants! and only really have "drive by shags"!. This I put down to possibly two events that have occurred in my life, the first my fathers death which happened 10 years ago from cancer which left me traumatised and literally made me realise that I had to grow up and finally be a man!. The loss of my father could have resulted in a psychological reaction which in some way on a sub-conscious level made me in a way think that all men are going to leave me sooner or later, so it would be better for me to take control and not go through all the heartache and just engage in fleeting physical contacts with men!.
The second possible theory is that my only long relationship that I had which lasted two years and ended ten years ago when my boyfriend was incarcerated because of his drug manufacturing habits!..it was a blessing for me because it gave me thinking time and a new perspective on the relationship!

In retrospect I do not know what I found sexually attractive about this guy and now feel that in some way I was suffering from a lack of judgement and a blindness to the truth, the guy was hopeless in bed ,he only liked vanilla sex,made me feel like a whore, never took me out to dinner , and also had another boyfriend who also shared our bed!!!

I'm not bitter because at the Manchester Gay Pride in the Hollywood Showbar he walked in with this current boyfriend looking extremely fat and acting un-characteristically camp and his face resembled a baboons arsehole!!
So really the two events could combine to produce what I am today..sad really that I am
left feeling emotionally isolated and with emotional scaring!.

Friday, 12 October 2007

I AM GOING TO EXPLODE!

RIGHT OK!!!! I am now so pissed off that I could literally smash my lap top up and think nothing of it!! WHY!..you ask ,well now to add to my ever increasing anxiety's I can no longer use youtube!!!! they keep asking me to install the flash player and of course I try to install it but it has stopped working with firefox,but it seems to work in internet explorer ok which I dont use !! I have tried for two days and I am nearing the brink of insanity and will probably explode over the weekend! IF anyone who reads this is a magician PLEASE comment with suggestions and I will gratefully give unlimited pleasure to for a WHOLE WEEK if you can successful solve the problem for me!!....or you can simply leave me a comment of love to cheer me up! XOXO

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Dirty Fukker

well..spent the day doing photoshop and chatting to online friends,so the day was ok...thought that I would talk about one of my friends who I met on myspace.He owns the underwear company Dirty Fukker and after reading my blog about the disaster with Ginch Gonch he sent me a message saying that he will send me a free pair of his..well not his personal pair...mmmm...would be nice though..but brand new ones...how nice is that!!!.

So today I have chatted with him about personal matters which were troubling me and because of his advice I am cheered up and more focussed!!He's a totally wonderful and caring person and glad to have him as a friend...you dont find many good and warm hearted people in this world...I can tell you. so to you J..I thank you. xx
http://www.dirtyfukkerunderwear.com/

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Matteo Trisolini

Right I have been thinking ..and thats an amazing thing in itself!..I am going to use this blog space to post my thoughts and ideas in a more private way! ..if thats possible?. I use myspace to post the same blog as here but because I have thoughts about people who are familiar with myspace I start to self-censorship!.Ending up with a contain blog where some things are not said and I am left feeling that I have limited myself!
I admire the way certain people like Matteo Trisolini produce their blogs, they have a familiar and personal signature (I know that is the point of a blog) but the way he writes with character is amazing and to be admired ,just like his wonderful photography and his spirit and strength and his love for the people around him!

Friday, 28 September 2007

Its a funny old world!!

Well its a funny old world that I inhabit....and its annoying me just a little bit...you decide if my feelings are founded or not!?.
WHY..and im not talking in particular about gay people but people in general in the Chester area who consistently persist to be hostile towards me when in my opinion I have done little to warrant this behaviour...
Lets take a closer look at the situation and maybe this will shine a light on my dilemma!...well the main perpetrators are amazingly the queer quarter of Chester who have for as long as I can remember have regarded me with suspicion and contempt, this is a inconceivable attitude and in my honest opinion nothing more than small minded internalised homophobia!!Small little pocket of areas of people who feel threatened by anything beyond their narrow understanding of anything!...take a look in your mirrors idiots you fall into the stereotype!

The other equally mind boggling group of people who feel threatened by me..yes I now know that to be the correct word to use because there is no other reason why any female should hate a gay person other than because of territorial issues, I know this to be true because generally women love me as a person and have no issue at all,its the few who grind their smoke stained teeth at me and glare with a look that says " back off you homo he's not for the conversion!", huh??....if i wanted your version of a straight man bitch you would have NO SAY!..

Which brings me nicely to the final group of people who surprisingly enough are usually the most receptive and intelligent of all!...STRAIGHT MEN!..yes that's correct .....
the good old heterosexual males are without a doubt more forward thinking of all!!!

I can usually count on them to boost my wound ego or lift my spirits and hand on heart give me the most amazing sexual stimulation in the world!! I do feel sorry for them when I see them with their girlfriend and looking my way with their puppy dog eyes asking telepathically to give them unimaginable sexual pleasure!!...or is that all in my imagination?...I HOPE NOT!?.

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Now playing: David Guetta, Chris Willis, Joachim Garraud & The Egg - Pop Life Mix (Continuous Mix)
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, 2 September 2007

A LIFESTYLE CONCEPT

While flicking through pages of fashion magazines my eyes focused on an advert for a face cream proclaiming the usual wondrous magical properties which will change your life!To be truthful I never really believe any hype that is attached to any product or brand..well not until I have personally tested them myself!.
Do people believe these images of visually perfect men or women to be real?.. or maybe they understand that its all part of a add campaign designed to sell the product!..I have used Clinique for years and have been very satisfied with the entire range and its only recently that I began to think that maybe another product could banish away some of the years!,my skin is very healthy looking but I wanted an injection of something EXTRA!
Biotherm Man was always my fantasy boyfriend so naturally its his bed that I climbed into,well you dont know till you try do you?...after the initial purchase from selfridges and a few weeks later I can honestly say that I am extremely impressed with the products of Biotherm, which do live up to all the claims about skin improvement and regeneration of cells!.
I am no fool I did previously research them over the internet and read all the glowing consumer reviews...you would like to think that the consumer has actually written the review but the little cynical voice in my head says maybe,an insider from Biotherm has offered up their knowledge of the product instead!..never mind a change is good as a rest and whats £22.00 between wrinkles!

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

MANCHESTER GAY PARADE

The weekend was by far the most productive work wise that I have had in a long time!.. Saturday I travelled to Manchester to watch the gay parade through the city centre...the sun tried to make an appearance bless her!!.. and the parade was very good..the essential float was throbbing away filled with lick-able lovelies teasing the un-suspecting public with their death deifying crotches and laser white smiles!.I was suffering from "one of my heads",but even that could not dampen my enjoyment at this spectacle !.there were even young children with whistles frantically blowing away ignorant regarding the whole ethos of the event! .
I also gained some attention from several likely lads in the crowd who were very willing to give me some personal whistle blowing if I needed some!...again health matters prevented me from taking up their kind offers!..
Sunday I awoke very early so as to undercoat two front road windows, one up one down.. the reason that I got up before the dew was chased off the grass(yeah ok dream on) was to prevent my work from being inspected by the big eyed neighbours from across the road, this can be upsetting when you hate heights at the best of times, but when you are trying to execute at straight line at one hundred feet on a ropey ladder in a one hundred mile a hour gale with nosey neighbour watching in the shadows , well its a hindrance really!
Then I preceded to lay a wonderful new carpet in my bedroom, a task I have never done in my life, so I approached it with some trepidation , I need not have worried because the event went ok, the worse part was emptying out the room and then putting everything back in place!…and wow was I done in!!
Monday again up early and set about to gloss the windows, which finished the job and the rest of the day I spent editing the short video that I took of the parade….a relatively relaxing day to end a very busy bank holiday weekend!.

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Sorry for all the rain in the uk,its all my fault!

What with the weather totally destroying my energy and my will to live,( none uk people WE ARE DROWNING IN A SEA OF HORRIBLE WATER)I didn't think that it could get any worse!..but yes it has ..a friend pointed out an article in the paper with the headline "FLOODS ARE GAYS FAULT!" the Bishop of Carlisle, Rt Rev Graham Dow blames new gay rights law for the current waterfall climate, and that we are reaping the consequences of our moral degradation! I sense he shares the godhatefags idiots view about homosexuality!
Do these fools not realise that their views are not shared by the gay enlightened masses who will only laugh at such a ridiculous claim! Its like godhatesfags idiots who defile the memories of the soldiers that are killed in Iraq by shouting at their funerals just because they do not share the same view as the USA who believe that gay people should also have the right to live a life of love just like straight people do!
These so called followers of god in my view are evil and ignorant about love and life in general and need to really understand Christianity and the way god really wants it to be presented and preached, in all honesty do these fools really think that god really would hate fags! NO!..OF COURSE NOT! UNDERSTAND THY MAN!
Get a life and an education you idiots its raining in the uk because its summer!! ;-(

Thursday, 21 June 2007

Its all over

I'M SOOO HAPPY!!!!!....why I hear you ask?, the light at the end of the tunnel of trash is approaching fast and within three weeks my visual and aural torture will be thankfully ended! The cheap, nasty ,intellectually challenged sorry to say related neighbours ,from The Jeremy Kyle Show ( that's low life on Jerry Springer if your none uk) are finally after FIVE LONG YEARS leaving my visual range and moving away to a land of microwave meals and white Stilleto Shoes!!!. I can't really take it all in, I feel like I've been washed in bleach and all the dirty filth of the last years have been washed off me!!
I bet some of you are thinking that i'm just dramatising and being over sensitive and maybe embellishing the tale, well no!, it was all the loudness of their lives ,the grand gestures of back street life being played out on a main road for all the world to see!!!, listen..one nighttime one of the daughters went screaming in a pair of knickers and nightie up the road drunkenly stumbling around and crying, flab flapping everywhere and she didn't really care who saw her and the next day appeared as if nothing had happened !! that's not right is it!?
Yes I'm glad its finally coming to an end....my only regret is all the raw material that they provided me with, which stimulate me to write blogs and create videos for youtube will not gone! ..never mind with my track record for attracting situations it will only be a matter of time before I will be ranting away again.....Stay tuned! ;-)

Monday, 18 June 2007

HOMOPHOBIA

This is a blog post from Eto's myspace profile!

Homophobia

This text is from a deviantArt journal:


"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: Love.



Homophobia is sick...

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

I ATTRACT ATTENTION



I am a magnet which draws attention whether it be positive or negative!..if I desire to
be un-seen it is I tell you impossible!..the reason why I am going on about it is that today while travelling by arriva bus service,slightly hungover and just a bit tired,I approached my point of destination,we stopped short of the bus stop because of temporary traffic lights which had been erected,so I remained seated till the bus started off again at which point I rang the stop bell!,oh my god!..the driver then angrily said to me why didn't I get off when the bus had stopped at the lights!..I ignore HIM!!!. He then preceded to stop short of the bus stop and say that I will have to get off there! opening the doors to let me off!.. I then walked off the bus,at this point he said under his breath "PRICK!".
I thought that you should never try to get off the bus in any location other than the designated points! and not just anywhere on the road!..feeling the way that I did and to be truthful I didn't really see any reason to be aggressive and impolite, which is why I didn't challenge his behaviour. I can safely say that I am proud of myself for being above such common behaviour and didn't react in a negative way.I AM A MUCH BETTER MAN THAN THAT INDIVIDUAL!
I have forgiven him and his sins and hope he will get PROFESSIONAL HELP!

Saturday, 2 June 2007


Here is a blog that jeffree star posted which seems relevant to my life and maybe yours , well you know what people tend to do when they get jealous and envious of others!..yep!. BITCH, BACK STAB AND CAT CALL!!

"it seems like I've been on the search for REAL people to add into my fake LA lifestyle. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't wanna stab someone in the back or talk shit about all my friends because it seemed cool at the time.. You may think you know me from what you've "heard" or seen on the internet, but you can only know so much. Everyone judges and forms an opinion about me, about you, about anyone.. it's natural.. But just know you have NO idea what's underneath it all"..

Monday, 28 May 2007

A NEW IMAGE

I am very pleased with this really interesting photograph which I created today, This is one of a few images that I shall call my HOMOLICKER series.

homolicker

Sunday, 27 May 2007

DISCO DANCER

HEY EVERYONE CHECK OUT MY LATEST PHOTOGRAPH OF ME!!!" YOU BETTER WORK IT GIRL"!!!

Disco Dancer

WHY DO THE GAYS OF CHESTER HATE ME?

What is wrong with the gay people of Chester!!!I have lived around the area of Chester for most of my life!...yeah I know it is a bit sad but there you go, slap my face if you will!!, but this has always troubled me,all or should I say most of the majority of the gay men in Chester walk around with an expression that says I HAVE A LONG SMELLY DOG EXCREMENT UNDER MY NOSE!!!! Why for gods sake do they insist that their facial features should resemble a shrivelled prune!.

Since coming out to the scene which consists of a couple of pubs one of which is as wide as a narrow boat and the other as tacky and trashy as britney spears in asda! the welcoming arms of the young and old involved in homosexual activities have remained peculiarly closed?. I'm not bitchy (do not regard my videos as reliable evidence) and I do have a fabulous personality, so im told, I'm also willing to sleep with any available men as long as they are rich, fashionable, creative and fabulous!! ....well not really, I do only sleep with people that are genuine, lovin ,know how to communicate AND HAVE A CERTAIN PORN STAR QUALITY!!;-)
So why is it that gay people in Chester would rather wear George at Asda than me! Manchester gays have no problem seeing me for the person that I am and accept everything that I can give and do want to know me!..and yes you have guessed it, I do spend a lot of my free time there and I regard my local as being down Canal St. Maybe they can see what Chester queers can not,anyway ,I have really given up trying and when i'm out shopping, if a mincer approaches I look through them! and I ceratinly don't want their cheap and nasties rubbing off on my shiny new Prada!

Sunday, 13 May 2007

I am suffering!

This weekend I suffered a lose!,one that leaves a hole in my life and that can never be filled by another....MP3 player!! Yes! my ipod died and had to be returned to its birthplace
where hopefully with loving care and a bit of TLC it will return into my loving arms and continue to bring me untold joys and great pleasure!..Can I live for two weeks without its sexy little body pulsating next to my heart?..

.I initially resisted to the hype surrounding the world of itunes/ipod believing that all Apples claims about revolutionising the world of music just couldn't be true!..Till six months ago I took a leap of faith and purchased a sliver 4gb ipod, instantly I became hooked with its easy manageability and style,but gradually month after month my little friend go sicker and sicker...after nursing him!..yeah him!!...he's a sexy horny dsquared model with attitude!! he did eventually regain functionability but how long can he go on..that was the question on my mind!!

So on Saturday he was returned to the ipod hospital for some TLC and good nursing!!...I will use an old Philips mP3 in the meantime but its just not the same!! :-(

Saturday, 12 May 2007

This is a simple case of personality and intellectual differences!!!

After finding out via the wonders of the open window that I'm called by my neighbours "snotty nosed Tim" in retrospect I do find that this remark is maybe rather fitting considering their limited vocabulary!.. I would have called myself an egotistical hyperbolist ! My tongue is always firmly in my cheek!, this is where people who don't know me think that I'm an arrogant homosexualist, this I'm not I can assure you, get to know me and you will realise this in next to no time. I can be a little selfish and self-absorbed but who can say hand on heart that at some time that this trait has never appeared momentarily at one time or another? This is a simple case of personality and intellectual differences!!!

Friday, 4 May 2007


Jay Brannan with the wonderful voice,really lifts my spirit and his song writing skills are exceptional!!

Thursday, 3 May 2007

over the garden fence

I have just this minute overheard the drunken trailer park from next door referring to me as snotty nose tim!! OH MY GOD!!! moi snotty nose,if by that they mean educated widely read and creatively productive with positive energy and that im not a lazy ignorant alcoholic then YES I AM SNOTTY NOSED!!
I was feeling a little guilty about the remarks that I made in various video's that I have posted on web sites,but now well WATCH OUT I FEEL A BITCH RANT COMING ON!

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

tolerance

Visualise this I'm what you could call a tolerant person,I check myself when a woman with a baby buggy ram raids my legs, I take deep breaths when some thoughtless individual loads their food onto the belt in the supermarket leaving me no room to load mine up because they have left their trolley alone side the belt so then I have to rush mine on!, but when it comes to the beauty challenged individuals and the brainless tittering drunken girlie's(next door relatives) who I might add can't walk in high heel shoes!,I know men who can do better!! who think that I need to listen to their humdrum voices proclaiming "ooh he's soo hot and she's such a tart,or lets do a txtathon? do I look nice in this"? eerrr NO! YOU LOOK FAT! THE MATERIALS STRAINING LETS LEAVE FAST YOUR ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!! yes I know i'm so tolerant and such a giving and loving individual!

Friday, 27 April 2007

Those giving times

Living in Chester ,which is mainly a tourist city,and a very cramped one at that!,you rarely see anyone walking around in cutting edge fashion. No dsquared, no Helmut Lang, no small glimpse of a McQ , the only visible fashion squad is the testosterone fuelled Topman contingent!..not that I'm complaining I'm hardly a wannabe Jeffree Star!..NO! I'm very happy with my Diesel/dsquared wardrobe thank you !!. What I do love is those Topman changing rooms where the carefree horny straight boys parade around half clothed un-aware of my appreciating eyes!!They are such giving guys those straight boys ;-)

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

OUTRAGE!

One Sunday morning I became overcome with the absolute desire to express my outrage at my rather fashion-less neighbours who appear to be devoid of any fashion, design and intellectual abilities! Their common behaviour is outstanding and they show no remorse at all,but really I started to video my statements as a reaction to the hanging garden of Babylon!! so named because the woman of the house had arranged five hanging baskets on one wall in a small backyard! this created a mass overdose of forms and totally looked pathetic!..How could she's do such a think and i'm ashamed to say she is a relative of mine!!!!!! :-0

Monday, 16 April 2007

paintings that influence me!

clipped from www.bloglines.com


SOTHEBY’S NYC TO OFFER A MASTERPIECE BY JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT


Jean Michel Basquiat Untitled

New York City – On May 15, 2007, Sotheby’s New York will offer a masterpiece by Jean-Michel Basquiat, painted in the seminal year of 1981.  Dazzling in its execution, Basquiat’s Untitled is an extraordinary work from the year when the artist first began to emerge as an enfant terrible of the downtown art scene in Manhattan.  The painting, the most important and desirable work by Basquiat to appear at auction in recent memory, was gifted to The Israel Museum, Jerusalem, in 1985 by Barbara and Eugene Schwartz, New York, and is one of two major Basquiats from this period in the Museum’s collection.  It is being sold by the Museum to create the Barbara and Eugene Schwartz Contemporary Art Acquisition Endowment Fund. It is estimated to sell for $6/8 million*. 






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Tuesday, 3 April 2007

TOO MUCH

Well after not drinking for well…since xmas I had a very big drink on Saturday night and woke up soon after falling asleep to the feeling of sickness!!.. needless to say I rushed to the toilet only not in time to use the toilet bowl expertly and missing the opening occasionally covered myself and the walls with the contents of my stomach which by volume contained a lot of whisky and very little food!! To say I was ashamed would be an understatement and highlighted in the morning when to my horror the bathroom mat was missing!! I could not remember removing it or where I had put it so I had to hunt it out till I eventually discovered it in the wash basket looking decidedly messy! The whole incident leaves me feeling ashamed and foolish and propels me further towards a life changing decision!?

Monday, 2 April 2007

This is my latest photograph which I am really pleased with because of the colour and image relationship!

Absolution

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Life

I just wanted to use this blog to visualise what I am thinking at the moment, to try and understand my thoughts. It seems that just recently ..well since my father died from cancer that the disease has gradually invaded my family with a passion and relentlessly changed the volume and its order!. The last 18 months my uncle has died from stomach cancer a distant cousin also has died from a brain tumour, his wife simultaneously contracted breast cancer and at the present is undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy!…and now my auntie who at the age of 86 is worried that she may also have stomach cancer!. well is it no wonder I refuse to create a pension scheme for myself when the odds are really staked against me living over the age of 65! You would think that I'm a miserable sod!. No!. or a Hypochondriac and eternally pessimistic!.. Not in a million years I live life the way I want to and at every opportunity I use the time to create art and explore and learn everything that I can! I'm none judgemental and as easy going as I can be in this world! I am not a push over or easily fool by people! But I greatly love people who have creativity and positive energy and experience life to the full, after all we only have one life!

Saturday, 24 March 2007

mat pic

Blogged with Flock

This is a song about Matthew Shephard which I think is particularly poetic and I just thought that I would post it for no other reason that it is fabulous!!

I had a friend I never met,
just a shadow in the night.
And he asked me, "Are you in or out;
and will you join the fight?"

So, I listened through my deafness
to the sweetness of his song.
When I turned around to answer him
I discovered he was gone.

ch.

But the song drifts along
on the soft Wyoming wind.
It's a lullabye of love and hope
and the courage to begin
that quest for understanding
in the darkness of our souls.
No, I won't forget that melody
on the soft Wyoming wind.

So I went back to the drawing board
with a modicum of shame.
Ripped the bandage off the sores
and administered the blame.

Yes, I've lived a lie of silence,
with a blind eye towards the proof.
And a fear of ever facing
what I knew to be the truth.

ch.

I have seen the face of hatred,
it wears a thousand different masks.
Heard the voice of the self-righteous
preaching prejudice as fact.

Will I ever find the courage
to live completely free?
You know you need a guiding spirit
to find some inner peace.

Sometimes when it's late at night
I can almost see my friend.
A gentle smile upon his face
where the bloody tears had been.

And he reaches out to comfort me
saying, "It will be alright."
And he beacons me to follow him
from the shadow to the light.

ch.

lyrics: Richard Webster
Music:Rick Sirota

Sunday, 4 March 2007

African Queen


African Queen, originally uploaded by timslim1.

Feeling a little strange today maybe its because its now 3months since I had a drink!!

Friday, 16 February 2007

frosty forest


frosty forest, originally uploaded by timslim1.

I am very satisfied with this pic which I took one cold Sunday morning,although I can't remember the settings that I used because its a relatively new camera,the effects are just what I wanted!..I have also printed out this picture and the image and colours are exact!

I give up!


I really am beginning to think that I will always be Doomed to never co-exist emotionally intellectually and physically with anyone!ever!! I never try too hard I am never too needy never too emotional or over-bearing,I could be a blank canvas waiting to be made into a creation!..well!.. now I'm being a self-pitying fool because someone my age has already
become what he was always destined to become!?.....

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Untitled

Sylvester

The most fabulous voice to emerge from the glittering disco era,supremely capturing a time of great creativity!

Blogged with Flock

Thursday, 8 February 2007

Friday, 26 January 2007

Miss Donnie Darko

Well here she goes again Miss Donnie Davis member of the group Love Gods Way posted on their web site a list of gay groups that if a child is exposed to will turn a child gay!No mention then of the positive effects that gay people have on the development of children and the psychological benefits to be gained from over exposure to homosexuals! go rant Miss Donnie Darko as I like to call her,she's the one exposing innocent children to hate and ignorance! here's the link to their web site if you want to check out this hatred for yourself! http://lovegodsway.org/GayBand

Thursday, 25 January 2007

Donnie Davis has more problems that the fact that he's repressing nature's wish! God didn't bring these idiot's into the world so they can project un-educated remarks to the masses which basically are only feeble attempts to hide their self-loathing! No wonder the church gets a bad name!

Saturday, 13 January 2007

new year new me!?


Well this is a new year and i'm feeling fresh and ready to go!!.well not quite..more like a feeling of being bashed over the head with numerous objects that leave me with various headaches! My lifestyle is slipping down to a pit of slime and there is no way I can climb out of this pit!..mmm..well that is a bit over-dramatic and gay..i'm not being youth minded by using the word gay in a shit way but i'm using it in a homosexual context!..I am gay after all!

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